Stupid Laws, Stupid People, Number 3

DC – Wes Craven, New Surgeon General:  Or at least he should be.  Dateline Washington – Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan has published instructions on how to handle the threat of “a zombie apocalypse “in a recent blog at the CDC’s Public Health Matters site.  Tips include assembling an emergency kit that includes food, water, radios, batteries and other necessities, along with an evacuation plan.  If you are a fan of Wes Craven’s horror films, you know that escaping the zombies is no sure thing.

Conspiracists on the web think that the government has launched a psy-ops operation.

IN – Let’s Walk Naked on the Interstate:  A woman walking on an Indiana interstate wearing only lingerie, high heels and a wig, was hit by a car recently.  The woman, who was not identified, was weaving between the lanes when a male driver struck her.  The driver said he swerved to avoid the woman but managed to hit her anyway.  The victim (really?) suffered a broken leg and arm.  I guess the driver was blinded by her headlights.

CA – DIY Surgery:  A Glendale man was found lying naked (do we have a theme going here?) on a lounge chair with a six inch butter knife protruding from his stomach.  The man, who also was not identified, again to protect the terminally stupid, decided to remove a hernia that was protruding from his stomach.  While the police waited for the paramedics to arrive, the victim (again, really?) pulled the knife out and shoved the cigarette that he was smoking into the wound.  Paramedics took him to the area psych hospital, which was the only normal thing done all day.

Sweden (an international finale!) – Man Splits Atoms at Home:  Richard Handl has an unusual hobby.  He splits atoms on top of the stove of his Stockholm apartment.  Handl tried for months to set up a home DIY nuclear reactor (is DIY our next recurring theme?), using small amounts of radium, americium and uranium.  Only after managing to create a small meltdown on his stove did Mr. Handl wonder if building a nuclear reactor at home was legal to do in Sweden.  He wrote to the Swedish Radiation Authority, describing his activities, including his successful stovetop reaction and asked if they had any concerns.  The Radiation Authority responded by sending the police.  I guess Mr. Handl got his answer. 

God bless the Swedish educational system.  Now they know how to teach science!  I bet he could pass the Know Child Left Behind standardized tests.

Next time – is it okay to bake your child?

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2 Comments to “Stupid Laws, Stupid People, Number 3”

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