Stupid Laws, Stupid People Number 4

Our last edition of Stupid Laws, Stupid People ended with the tease, “is it all right to bake your child”.  Here is the story plus a few more randomly stupid acts.

NY – He wasn’t the ginger bread boy:  James Moss will serve his weekends in jail for four months because he shoved his son, naked into the kitchen oven.  Moss, who thought the boy took twenty dollars from his wallet, also burned the boy’s hands.  The son, who we will not name because he is only twelve years old, cried to the judge that “he was nothing without his Dad” and begged the judge not to jail his father.

Even more outrageous than James Moss’ act is New York state Supreme Court judge Robert Collini, who agreed with the boy rather than immediately pulling him out the house and handing him over to Social Services.  But the good news is Moss will have to take anger management classes.  That will fix everything!

DC  – Good job, Secret Service!:  A six year old girl squeezed through the White House fence and frolicked on the north lawn.  It was all fun and games as she scampered across the lawn in her little blue dress.  The Men In Black eventually caught up with the little charmer and did not shoot her!  Mom and dad weren’t arrested either.  Good job Secret Service!

FL – My butt implants are better than yours, Kim:  A Miami woman, looking to get ahead in the world of exotic dancing, decided to round out her derriere.  Following the old adage, never buy retail, she found a discount butt business.  The woman “doctor” who is a transvestite man, filled the stripper’s backside with a combination of cement, mineral oil and flat tire sealant.  Police arrested the “doctor” for practicing medicine without a license.   The stripper now is the new definition of “junk in your trunk”.  Eat your heart out Kim Kardashian!

Today’s international entry –

England – Go smell the roses children:   The South Lakeland District Council, in Kendal England, thought they would pretty up the children’s playground, so they planted pretty little purple flowers for them.  Unfortunately, they used monkshood, one of the world’s deadliest plants. 

Thomas Gudgeon, a botanist, spotted them in the playground and alerted the council.  Gudgeon noted that monkshood is the plant that Amazon natives use to poison their arrows when they hunt game.  The council apologized for the error.  Just another strategy to dispose of the surplus population, I suppose.  How devilishly Dickens of them.

NY – And finally, a lawyer worth his fee:  Eon Shepard sued New York state because a corrections officer touched his “Holy dreadlocks”, thereby violating his religious rights.  The victim said that the guards touched the sacred hairs and “slightly tore” them. 

In comes Harrison Williams, smelling a payday, to represent Shepard in the gross violation of his religious freedom.  Williams racked up $75,000 in fees as he diligently pursued Mr. Shepard’s quest for justice.  The case went to trial and the jury agreed that in some obscure way Shepard had been wronged.  They also thought it was a waste of time and awarded him one dollar.  New York law limits a lawyer’s fee in prison cases to 150 percent of the award, so Mr. Williams got paid $1.50.  The 2nd U.S. Court of Appeals said the law is the law and that is all he is due.  And he was probably worth every penny!

Next time is reader’s choice.  Click on the Contact Us link and let us know if you want an all international edition or an all Florida edition.  Here is a hint – burning mattresses or burning pizza.  You decide.

This entry was posted in Stupid Laws Stupid People. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

4 Comments to “Stupid Laws, Stupid People Number 4”

  1. WordPress › Error

    The site is experiencing technical difficulties.